Santa’s Still Bringing My Presents In 2012, Right?

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/32344842/ns/technology_and_science-the_new_york_times// 

The above article was emailed to me as proof for what to expect when 12/21/12 arrives. I wrote the following in response:

That is interesting and I do believe that weather change is a big deal…. but that’s global warming, not geomagnetic reversal, a concept most likely thought to be the 2012 doomsday prediction. They’re not mutually exclusive I know; we can ruin the earth with global warming, and geomagnetic reversal could occur, but one thing does not cause the other… in fact scientists have pinpointed the next geomagnetic reversal to be around year 3000-4000, and even with that said, the spacing between geomagnetic reversals is erratic. (Never more than twice did a reversal occur within 50,000 years and the last one happened 780,000 years ago, but there have also been periods of millions of years without one, so we are considerably “overdue”, yet not necessarily expecting one at the same time). Even if a reversal did happen, since it’s a magnetic field, it has more effect on space travel, electronics and communication, possibly making the earth vulnerable to cosmic radiation. It is controversial whether cosmic rays cause climate change, but a majority of scientists have found that it’s CO2 levels and global warming causing massive weather changes, not the activity or declining strength of the magnetic field of earth.

*Many times, “polar reversal” or a “polar shift” is mentioned in context with 2012 and this is a mistake. Pole shift (which exists) is NOT the same as geomagnetic reversal. Pole shift or pole wander has occurred but only measured at about 1 degree per million years, not a complete flip of the axis.

I also found that the Mayan calendar doesn’t end; it resets like an odometer. It would be like if every millennium, when the last three digits reset to zero in our calendar, we freaked out saying it “ended”. The numbers aren’t going forward anymore, (999, then?) but the measure in which the Mayans counted years goes up a level. They count roughly using a base-20 system vs. our base-10.

Representation	Long Count subdivisions	Days	~ solar years
0.0.0.0.1	1 K’in	1	1/365
0.0.0.1.0	1 Winal = 20 K’in	20	1/18
0.0.1.0.0	1 Tun = 18 Winal	360	1
0.1.0.0.0	1 K’atun = 20 Tun	7,200	19.7
1.0.0.0.0	1 B’ak’tun = 20 K’atun	144,000	394

(So 12/21/12 = 13.0.0.0.0)

 BUT

“Despite the publicity generated by the 2012 date, Susan Milbrath, curator of Latin American Art and Archaeology at the Florida Museum of Natural History, stated that “We [the archaeological community] have no record or knowledge that [the Maya] would think the world would come to an end” in 2012.[14]

“For the ancient Maya, it was a huge celebration to make it to the end of a whole cycle,” says Sandra Noble, executive director of theFoundation for the Advancement of Mesoamerican Studies, Inc. in Crystal River, Florida. To render December 21, 2012, as a doomsday or moment of cosmic shifting, she says, is “a complete fabrication and a chance for a lot of people to cash in.”“

So, I feel it’s like if way in the future someone found our calendar and thought every dec 31st something bad happened… it “ENDS” alright, but we party for the new year coming.

I totally believe in global warming and “the end of the world” if we keep painstakingly sprinting down that path, but I don’t know how I feel abut a doomsday or dooms-era that coincides with a calendar of a culture that celebrates cyclical endings.  Now, as “woojie boojie” as this sounds, I’m actually more inclined to believe a “global consciousness shift” or the prediction of the return of “Mexican god Quetzalcoatl who, according to Mayan mythology, is to destroy the wicked and usher in the next world. His name is a compound of the Nahuatl words for plumage (quetzalli) and snake (coatl). The symbolism of this name implies that the catastrophe could be a unification of opposites, the merging of flight and slithering, dark and light, life and death, suggesting that 2012 could be more of a paradigm shift than a physical cataclysm.”

Oddly enough, there has been an inscription found and partially interpreted…

Tortuguero Monument 6, directly mentions the end of the 13th baktun, which corresponds to 2012. It has been defaced, though Mayan scholar David Stuart has attempted a partial translation:

Tzuhtz-(a)j-oom u(y)-uxlajuun pik

(ta) Chan Ajaw ux(-te’) Uniiw.

Uht-oom …

Y-em(al) … Bolon Yookte’ K’uh ta …

 

The Thirteenth ‘Bak’tun” will be finished

(on) Four Ajaw, the Third of Uniiw (K’ank’in).

… will occur.

(It will be) the descent(?) of the Nine Support(?) God(s) to the…[10]

Possibly the decent of the Mexican god Quetzalacoatl?

Who knows? But on 12/22/12 I’m having a Mayan themed celebration with lots of chips and guac.

True Lies

Everyone claims they want to hear the honest truth. People complain that they’re getting duped or taken advantage of and wish that others were “more down to earth” and “said what they were feeling” and “were more in touch with their emotions”.  These same people cringe at harsh truths, are uncomfortable with excess vulnerability and believe they deserve insurmountable respect. You see these people everyday, not letting people merge and then cutting others off in the fast lane.  Interrupting conversations to tell their own story, one-upping the narrator. Crying over spilled milk. They don’t want honest respect.  They want to be seen and heard.  They just want to feel important. That’s not respect in my book.  When I really respect someone I tell them how I feel, ask for their opinion, listen to what they say, but I am mature enough to take everything with a grain of salt and make my own decisions.  Kowtowing to strangers is not my idea of truthfully, honestly respecting someone.

And these people that demand the acknowledgement, the catering to, do they give in return? Will they kowtow back and even remember your name? I don’t understand how someone can say one thing and do another.  It’s called hypocrisy (one of my BIGGEST turn offs) and lately I feel that’s it’s more often known as habit.  It’s hearing what you want to hear and misunderstanding what you don’t want to hear to an extreme.  It’s getting completely offended at a lack of acknowledgement rather than realizing the world revolves, surprisingly to some, around the sun instead.  It’s a poor quality to have, this overreaction to equality.  

I, personally, do not feel respected when someone belittles me and sugar-coats life.  I can handle whatever the truth is and I find it more respectful that others would assume that and lay it all on the table as is.  I don’t need hand-holding and silver platters.  What kind of respect am I showing people when I tell white lies and smile blankly? See, I don’t think some people really want respect from an equal counterpart, or honesty that might hurt.  Respect and honesty are just guilt-free titles for demanding admiration and agreement.  Even submission. If you want my respect, don’t exude deservedness.  Don’t have your nose so high in the air that I can see your boogers (no one wants to see those anyway).  Look me in the eye, say please and thank you and don’t be so quick to judge.  You don’t literally have to look down at everyone else just so they can look up to you.

Multiples of Five

My alarm is set for 5:55 am.  Whether I actually wake up at that time is to be determined, but at that time, my phone is buzzing me out of my dreams.  My “snooze” button allows for not a couple or a few, but extra minutes of sleep in increments of five. I was born on the 15th day of April in 1985 and it actually bothers me a bit that it wasn’t May. I like to doodle five-pointed stars and my favorite 3-d shape is a Tetrahedron. I’ve never cared much for pennies or pairs.  Ideally, I’d schedule important or exciting events on dates and  in years divisible by five.  I like that there are 50 states in our country and slightly annoyed that there are 52 cards in a deck. The TV volume, the number of songs in a playlist and invited guests are all a multiple of five.  Seems quite odd that a person with such an obsession with symmetry would have such an affinity for the number five. 

Organizationally and even mathematically the number five seems to be the most practical, the most efficient to use.  Life would be easier if transportation arrived at 5-minute intervals and groceries were packaged in fives.  It could fix some of the worlds biggest problems, the number five. No one wants a package of 8 hotdogs and a bag of six hotdog buns.  Forget 2-for-1. Let’s see more “buy 4 get the 5th one free”. What was everyone’s obsession with pairs? Hate to break it to you, but the world isn’t all about perfect pairs and even splits.  There are five days in a work week, five seats in your average passenger vehicle and five true vowels in the alphabet.

I’m not crazy, folks.  A lot of people have already jumped onto the number five bandwagon.  The media doesn’t show anything about the Top 9 or Top 11, though I’ll admit they sometimes settle for the Top 3.  Offices don’t want 499 pages in a ream of paper. Even God put five digits on each extremity for us humans.  I believe it’s not only natural but maybe predestined for people to gravitate towards math in increments of five. Math we can perform on our fingers and toes?  Forget “third time’s a charm” or “lucky number seven”.  Let’s give a shout-out to another prime number and simplify our lives.

Aimless

Now, I’ve heard that when people lose the ability to use one of their five senses the other four become heightened, but can it be true that when you’re putting 150% into using just one of your senses the other four just simply cease to exist? Maybe humans were never meant to truly multi-task.  How can it be that when someone finally chooses to more-than-half-ass something they completely disregard everything else around them? What happened to being a jack of all trades?  The ability to be more than halfway decent at almost everything, though not a master of anything, and still gain recognition and admiration?  Why does everything have to be so focused and individualized in order to gain decent acknowledgement? 

In a society that is blotted out with more pop-up ads, IM chat windows and blog posts, there sure is a whole lot of this one-thing-at-a-time mentality floating around. The “norm” used to be a working mother, a student athlete; people excelling in multiple aspects of life.  Even Peter Parker moonlighted as Spiderman. Now it seems like normalcy is like juice concentrate.  If you can claim to be really good – not even the best – just really good at one thing it’s as if you have the right to identify yourself with it, talk about it non-stop and belittle others who can’t do it.  I personally don’t know where people  got the idea that it was okay to do this, or that that one thing, no matter how incomparably better at it you may be, can be the never-ending coattail ride of your life.

Maybe it was the Olympics that gave the Average Joe’s of the world tiny glimmers of hope that if they put everything they have into one thing they will win the game of life. Hate to break it to you, but all you get is a hunk of metal on a ribbon necklace and maybe some ridiculous amounts of money in sponsorship deals. I bet it’s odd for some of you to read that sentence in a context that is so dismissive.  Some of you are the same people that think fame and money make life worth living. Would people still aspire to be the best of the best if they didn’t get paid or promotionally plastered around the world? I am going to vow to live life for another purpose. To live. To experience. To be completely aimless if I choose and still make it to the finish line.

American Formula

So when and if I ever decide to audition for American Idol I will do my best to use the following advice I’ve accumulated through 8 years of my on-again-off-again relationship with the reality competition.  I wonder if it’s possible for anyone to make themselves fit into the mold that the judges say America is looking for…

Blow them away.  Don’t over sing. Be hip, current and relevant. Show your range. Pick the right song. Be pretty. Have great legs. Be confident.  Be commercial. Pick the right song. Sound different.  Sound familiar. Sing in tune. Work the microphone stand. Don’t get carried away.  Don’t be boring. Stay in the same key you started in unless there is a written key change. Pick the right song.  Don’t over-embellish. Don’t beg. Get comfortable on stage.  Pretend every chance is your last chance. Being technically good doesn’t cut it.  Entertain.  Don’t pick a song with a 5-note range. Pick the right song.  Don’t be too put together. Loosen up. If you’re hot enough you can win over quite a few voters. Be unique by being a mix of 3 or more contemporary artists. Pick the right song. Do NOT have an extremely annoying trait.  Don’t cry over everything.  Just don’t cry. Pick the right song.

Looks like all the hopefuls, myself included, have our work cut out for us. Well, I know what I’ll be up to this year. Scouring the internet for songs with ridiculous ranges, looking for a “look”, getting great gams, loosening up and tuning my pitch pipe. One thing I know I already have is the ability to refrain myself from looking like a complete idiot figuring out how many fingers to hold up while I plead to America to vote for me by texting “this many” to the show. I think that alone might put me in the winner’s circle.

Scheduling Regimen

The diet I should have started yesterday can only begin on the 1st or the 15th of the month.  This is in order to reach a goal by the New Year or my next birthday. The exercise routine I should have started last week can only begin on Mondays.  This is in order to begin a habit with a whole week of exercise before the weekend.  Thus quitting any bad eating or exercise habits can’t happen until the last day of the month, the 14th or a Sunday.  Bills are paid on the 10th and 25th and laundry should be done Sunday night. Do I really require this much control or are these more mental games I play in my mind to keep myself occupied?

I schedule everything down to the last detail to give it more of a purpose.  Why I feel like I need to lead a more purposeful life, I have no idea, but I think my over-scheduling is an effort to give more meaning to every task I begin.  If I live too spontaneously I feel like I lose the sense of accomplishment of making a goal and following through with it.  How can I get the satisfaction of crossing something off my eternal list of things to do if a new task never makes it on the list to begin with.  The list almost acts as a supplemental memory, keeping track of things I wish to complete or achieve. 

The more time I spend planning an event the more I remember the details of said event.  Thus, if I live on the edge, doing things as they appear in my mind, I might not experience it the way I could have if I had exhausted every means of planning it.  Not to mention remember it as thoroughly.  Unfortunately, with all the supplemental memory lying around in lists and photos, I’m actually keeping my mind from exercising it’s right to remember things on it’s own.

Oddly enough, my best memories are those of which the happenings were done on a whim, completely unplanned and improvised.  When will I learn? Perhaps the 1st? or the 15th?

Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

So the time has finally come to take the daily pressures of life and apply them to my hair once again.  This time last year I begged a stylist to make me blond, resulting in 4 bleaching processes and a chemical cut that rivaled spilled acid on wispy cotton balls.  A year before that I took blunt scissors to my split ends myself.  Needless to say, a really good cut is long overdue. Probably a harsh a-line bob with mysterious bangs. And dark. Really dark. It “makes my eyes pop”.  Why now, you ask?

I think it’s interesting that when I’m happy with how I look I tend to embrace more flaws, or in other words, “slack off” as I like to call it. It’s when I’m frustrated with my presence that I become extremely vain, getting manicures every two weeks, monthly pedicures and a desire to drastically change my hair.  I’ve hidden behind waist-length hair and the stereotype that men like long hair my whole life and never really tried to figure out what my hair was saying about me or what I even wanted to convey.

I’ve realized that I’ve had it wrong lately.  I’m not a blond.  I’m not as approachable as I intended to be with those perfectly styled beach waves. I’m in fact a very direct, blunt, realistic to an almost cynical extent who would rather people-watch quietly behind dark, side swept bangs than chit-chat in highlighted, french-braided pigtails to strangers in Starbucks.  So, in April, upon turning 24 (the fact that I have to start new things on “special days” is a whole other post), I shall treat myself to a new haircut, a new me.

Vampirism

What is it about vampirism that is so intriguing? More than the normal interest in something foreign? Beyond the obvious lustful, night-owl lifestyle, there’s a deeper connection to the blood-sucking path.  I personally think it’s a fear of death or losing those I love, holding onto a burning desire to live by the eternal fountain of youth.  In my mind, even 80 years is much too short to really experience life the way it was meant to be experienced.   I think I’m also drawn to the ability to be completely freed from the human needs that, I feel, waste precious time.  Time that I could be otherwise, as previously mentioned, experiencing life.  And if I figured out how to hunt animals as in Twilight, the whole murdering humans thing could be avoided.  

The mystery, the secrecy, the lack of necessity for sleep or normal food.  The ability to learn through the ages and accumulate what you’d need to survive.  To be eternally young, healthy and financially sustainable. The ability to convert those you love to last year after year by your side.  The cures to all my deepest fears.  Who thought of this creature of the night that had attained the impossible?  Is it true, somewhere in the world, that myth originates from, at the least, a miniscule bit of truth? 

Probably not. I know this. But I can still pretend once a year on Halloween, right?

Unnecessary Alliteration

I have been reading and rereading my posts as of late and have realized that my writing style is abound with alliteration and that most of the time it really is added absent-mindedly.  (Well, of course, except now – when you’re writing about it, it really is difficult to avoid.)  Is the literary occurrence a side effect of my un-(read: self-)diagnosed OCD, being drawn to the audible symmetry between two words in a sentence? I honestly don’t know why it happens but I do know that I like it.  I think it actually sounds more correct in my ear.  One step closer to perfect. It wasn’t until I wikipedia-ed alliteration that I realized the excessive use might be more of a societal push than my own neurosis. (Yes, wikipedia is my “go to” source and yes, I made it a verb).

More than enough cartoon and movie characters are illustrated by alliteration from Mickey Mouse to Spongebob Squarepants.  Clearly, from a young age, we all are groomed to enjoy the sequential similar sounds. Later in life, the recognizable patterns act as a gravitational pull, reeling me further into written patterns that seep into the other facets of my life. I named my first car Big Bertha the Benz and my second, Violet the Volvo. My twenty-something versions of “Goldie the Goldfish”. 

Don’t deny that alliteration brings a poetic air to the plainest of literature – my blog, for example. And for those of you who think the repetition is redundant, obviously overdone or absolutely absurd, you’re probably right. But I can’t help it. 

P.S. I just finished Twilight and was extremely disappointed when I tried to slam my pathetic paperback volume shut in victorious accomplishment and couldn’t make a satisfying sound.

Brain Fart

I am saddened at how quickly I stumbled upon writer’s block since beginning my blog.  I am completely unmotivated to write more than a few sentences on just as many topics.  I didn’t think that posting a medley of poorly expressed thoughts sufficed as an enjoyable read.  Check back tomorrow for a well thought out excerpt of my mind.  

Probable topics of discussion in the near future are pockets, my slight obsession with the number 5 and absent-minded alliteration.